Reading Traci’s story should not be for entertainment but be used to glean a better understanding of how to truly hear from and follow God’s will for your life. It should be viewed as a testament to who God is and what he has the power to do, that is change our lives and shift our thinking, if we would only let him. A tell-all book is designed to reveal intimate details and scandalous information about a subject. That is not this book, but on the contrary. “I Did Not Die” is a book designed to exact positive change and transform lives.

I love you my dear friend ~ Kathy Tyree
Owner &CEO of Kathy Tyree Productions ~ Omaha, Ne.

October is recognized as Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month has a special significance for my family & myself, having both my sisters diagnosed with breast cancer and having lost my oldest sister Mariah, to metastatic breast cancer triple negative.

Metastatic Triple-negative breast cancer (TNBC) is rare form of canceraccounts for about 10-15% of all breast cancers and is more aggressive than other forms. It’s more likely to have spread beyond your breast at the time it’s found. These tumors are aggressive, but they can be treated effectively when detected early with the combination of surgery, radiation therapy and chemotherapy. As of date, there are no noted cases of remission from Metastatic Breast Cancer triple negative and most patients will die within the first 5 years of treatment. What makes triple-negative breast cancer different? There are many different types of breast cancer. The term triple-negative breast cancer refers to the fact that the cancer cells don’t have estrogen or progesterone receptors and also don’t make too much of the protein called HER2. This makes it’s difficult to treat because there are no known proteins for cancer drugs to target.

My sister, Mariah was officially diagnosed with breast cancer on Jan 7, 2019, however her cancer was discovered during her annual mammogram in March 2018. By the time Riah was diagnosed her cancer had spread and she was given a 18 months life expectancy if not treated quickly and aggressively. After much prayer and discussion and upon receiving a scholarship from Moffit Cancer Center, Big Riah began treatment in April 2019. This treatment would include high dosage chemotherapy, radiation and a double mastectomy. The treatment ravished her body. She lost her hair, her appetite, the muscle mass in her body and the chemo literally burned the inside and outside of her body, but she pressed on with determination to fight with all her might to be healthy enough to go to Jamaica for Mahdi (Her Son) and Melissa’s wedding Sept 19, 2019, she did just that and even went to Buffalo in Nov 2019 for Auntie Cynthia retirement party and dance ALL Night after having a double mastectomy (both breast removed) in Oct 1, 2019.

After returning home from Buffalo Riah had a follow up visit at Moffit on Nov 12. During that visit, Riah received some devastating news. Riah was told she still had breast cancer and a spot was found on her chest wall. The recommended treatment was 6 treatments of high dosage radiation and radiation pills. The treatment was started in December 2019. This treatment ravished her body, it made her very sick and weak most of the time unable to get out of bed. It also caused aggressive nausea and sever headaches which she could not seen to shake. After being in pain for weeks on January 14, 2020, Riah returned to Moffit only to be told the cancer has spread to her brain and she was now terminal. The prognosis was, with treatment she could possibly live 1 year, without treatment she had weeks. Riah choose to fight!! In attempt to dissolve the 5 lesions in her brain…..high dosage, targeted radiation was used along with chemo to try to stop the cancer from spreading, which was now in her spine. After the first treatment, Riah was in constant pain and her condition continued to decline. (Side Note: Whenever Riah was in the hospital we made sure that someone was with her at all times, 24 hours a day…we never left her side) After receiving the treatment, Riah DEMANDED that we all leave the hospital. When we returned the next morning, Riah informed us that she had spent the night praying and has decided to stop all treatments, choosing Quality of Life over Quantity of Life for the time she had remaining. She took this opportunity to say everything she needed to say, imparted wisdom to her family, having one on one time with each family member, loving on us, giving us specific instructions and cussing some of us out…but all in Love! On Valentine’s Day Feb 14, 2020 we brought Riah home on hospice. Although her condition rapidly declined, Riah was determined to be here for our Mom’s birthday February 22 and staying to true to herself, Riah did exactly what she said. Riah peacefully transitioned in the early morning on February 23, 2020.

Riah fought as hard as she could to be here with us and when that was not possible, she left us with such grace and dignity allowing us to see God’s strength in her weakness.

Affectionately called Mom, My Love, Grandma, Big Riah and Auntie Riah ‘is’ the oldest child, the glue that held her siblings, her children and her family together and as my Big Sister she kept me Protected. She opened her heart & her home to ALL of us & our children. She has Always been a strong person and sometimes it hard to see the people we love in pain but I Saw You Riah!! I saw your Strength, how you struggled daily to get out of bed. I saw your Pain, when you were not being able to do what you used to do. I saw your Tears when you looked in the mirror & saw how your appearance had changed. I saw your Determination to fight with Everything in you. I saw your Love for others and how you loved All of Us and took care of Mom (even when you were sick). I saw your Humanity, how your shared kind words and a smile with others, while in pain yourself. I saw your Courage, how your encouraged and inspired us even at the end. That is My Big Sister, Annis Mariah Blassingame Starling.

I was personally introduced to cancer during my annual visit to the doctor on April 16, 2021. During my pelvic exam my doctor noticed something had changed. I had always had female problems so a irregular pap was normal for me but this was different. Upon receiving the results of my exam, my doctor immediately referred me to ObGyn for further evaluation. He discovered abnormal cells on the cervical wall and a polyp. After a another pelvic exam, the OnGyn (we will call him Dr.J) decided to do a diagnostic pap-smear and a biopsy of the polyp, which confirmed pre-cancerous cells. To determine the level on cancerous tissue Dr. J did a colposcopy (a simple procedure that lets your doctor get a good look at your cervix) and a Endocervical curettage (ECC) (This procedure uses a narrow instrument called a curette to scrape the lining of the endocervical canal. This is an area that can’t be seen from the outside of the cervix). It was then determined that the cells were on the exterior & interior of the cervix. Depending on the severity of cells and how far they had spread, I had 3 options, 1) if the cells had spread into the uterus, a total hysterectomy, 2) if the cells were contained to the cervix and the outer layer of the uterus, we remove the affected area and treat it with chemo and/or radiation or 3) a Leep procedure (this is a procedure to remove abnormal tissue from your cervix to confirm cervical cancer or treat precancerous conditions of the cervix). After much prayer, consulting with Dr. J, talking with my Mom, and my children, counseling with my Pastor & 1st Lady, we decided to go with the Leep procedure because it is a less evasive, out-patient’ procedure that could be done in my doctors office.

My procedure was scheduled for June 15, in my doctors office. He was removing 3/4 of my cervix (the area where the cancer cells were found) to determine if the cells are reactive or localized to that area. Once the procedure was started Dr J. realized it was going to be a more extensive process so he was unable to complete the procedure in the office and surgery was scheduled for July 2, 2021.

Back Story: When I received the initial diagnosis, I was a mess. Now all 3 of my Mom’s daughters have had cancer. This challenged me on every level. I didn’t tell my family because we were still dealing with loss of Big Riah from metastatic breast cancer triple negative and Jen was still in treatment for an Invasive carcinoma in her breast. I did tell my Mom, who is the strongest woman I know and my children, who walked every step with me. I also reached out to my Pastor & 1st Lady to ask them to pray with me because I was going through a health crisis. Not even knowing the details, My Pastor, Pastor Dominic Watkins said to me “Don’t be moved, this sickness is not unto death, go through the process. When you come through this, the root will be removed and the tie will be broken but you have to go through the process”.

Now, one thing about me, when I’m going through, I hibernate, I separate myself but with this the Lord said, No!!! Then Psalms 24:7-10 & Jeremiah 29:11 kept ringing through my soul, “Lift Up Your Head” because “I have a plan for you”! So I pressed through trusting God and the words he placed in my heart. I continued to work and serve at church, sometimes on the edge, ready to break down but standing at the door of Freedom Church of Tampa, was my strength. My Pastor would walk by and say “hang in there, we are yet trusting God” and that would be the push I needed. My firstlady, Lady P, would just give me one of those hugs and my burden would lift. My Freedom family would hug me & those hugs kept me from breaking down, giving in to the fear and just giving up.

It’s July 2, 2021, I’m headed to surgery. The surgery went well, it took a little than expected & was little more extensive. They ended up removing my entire cervix, which was sent to the Pathologists to determine if they got it all and if further treatment was needed. My post-opt appointment was scheduled for July 13. My physical recovery was quick, my spirit was strong but those 11 days were brutal. Finally July 13 at 3:30pm, I sat in Dr. J’s office with my Mom. Dr. J came in and said “we got it all and you won’t need any radiation or chemo however your annual pap will need to be done every 6 months here at my office….I will take that!!!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

Why did I decide to tell my story, I’m glad you asked?!
1) Cancer has attacked my immediate family 3 times in 3 different ways. So just because you don’t have a family history of cancer does not mean you are exempt from it. Neither type of cancer each of us had was hereditary. I also had gene testing done when Big Riah was diagnosed and I don’t have the gene. Everyone needs to proactive when it comes to our health & welfare.

2) To encourage you to get your annual exams!!! The statement “early detection saves lives” is true! The type of cancer that was growing in my body has no signs or symptoms until it hits the uterus. There is a 5-year survival rate for people with uterine cancer. Black women are more likely to be diagnosed with more aggressive endometrial cancers with lower survival rates.

3) We all face life challenges!! Sometimes those challenges can knock us to our knees and that’s ok….but don’t stay there!!! Know that you are mot alone, we are all going through something. So have your crying, be angry and ‘oh whoa it’s me’ session. Then Get Up, allow God’s words to strengthen you, his Spirit to guide, find a place of inspiration and surround yourself with people that Speak Life to you and your situation.

As for me, I’m Blessed!!!! I looked in the mirror the other day and it hit me….Girl your 57 years old!! I’m at peace, I feel good, I look good but most importantly….I’m FREE!!! Free of cancer and Free of the Past!!!!

“Soul Tie” is a phrase that is used to describe a spiritual connection between two people. It’s a physical connection that creates a spiritual bond.

Soul Ties are normally formed by a close knit bond between individuals or by sex.

Soul Ties were created by God so that his people would be connected together. The Soul Tie between a husband & wife was intended to create an unbreakable lifelong bond.

5 Types of Soul Ties: Relationship, Family, Marriage, Business, Friendship & Sex.

2 forms of Soul Ties: Mutual & One Sided.

When trying to discern if a Soul Tie is Healthy or Unhealthy, ask Yourself 3 question:
1: Does this person gratify my flesh?
2: Does this person lead you away from God?
3: How does this person make me feel about myself?

Symptoms:
1: Self Gratification, no care for consequences of the relationship.
2: Extreme Emotions toward the person, who are or were in a relationship with (Family, Friend or Other).
3: Stalking, Tracking, Trolling social media for the person who are or were in a relationship with. Also having your friends do the above.
4: Refusal to cut the person off even though the relationship is unhealthy.
5: You defend the right to be with the person in spite of the circumstances.
6: With one person daydreaming / dreaming of the past relationship. During moments of intimacy, you visualize the person you were in a relationship with.

“Soul Ties” are formed over time so it takes time to break them. They are like a rope that has several strands, all the strands need to be broken.

How To Break The Soul Tie?
No one can break ‘your’ Soul Tie but you!

1: Pray, Confess & Repent.
2: Reverse the commitment, the vows made between you and the other person.
3: Cut off Communication. (Delete & Block).
4: Get rid of any relative objects that are connected to that person.
5: Take Time to heal. Allow God & Time to heal you. Your mindset needs to change. Your heart needs to be made whole.

Forgiveness is not forgetting what a person(s) has done to you. Forgiveness is a voluntary process where the victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude towards the person(s) that wronged them. It is a conscious decision and intentional action made by the victim to let go of the negative emotions such as anger, hate & the perceive penalty that should be received by those that have hurt them. Forgiveness does not mean that you are condoning or excusing the offense, it’s understanding the Natural Order ~ “What Goes Round Comes Around” & Biblical Principle ~ “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Gal 6:7).

The Bible gives us clear instruction concerning forgiveness. If someone has wronged/offended you. (Matthew 18:15)

If you think you have offended someone. (Matthew 5:23–24)

Forgiveness is a process that contains 4 components:
1: Release ~ Releasing the person that wronged you from your perceived penalty for their deeds by word & action.
2: Resolve – a firm decision to do or not to do something. To resolve within yourself that I am going to let this go, even though I don’t get the apology or explanation I feel I deserve.
3: Restore – the action of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition.
4: Reconcile – cause to coexist in harmony.

Let me add…Forgiveness is not a option it’s a Requirement! (Mark 11:25)

So, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness or not, Forgiveness is a mandatory step in the process of Moving Forward & Letting Go, therefore “Forgiveness” is not for or about those who hurt you, FORGIVENESS It’s For YOU

As for me, I choose To FORGIVE!!!!!!!

Doing the same thing & expecting different results is called…..INSANITY!

Why do we constantly complain about our situation & circumstances but we aren’t willing to do what it takes to change it? We continue on the same path that led us to no where, we continue to live that same lifestyle that led to our down fall / heart break & we keep trusting the same people that used & abused us.

Believe Me, I understand that Change can be difficult. I also know that we can not control what others do, how they act or how they treat themselves & others, but we are in complete control of how we react / respond and what we allow / accept.

We need to Stop Complaining & Take Control of Our life. Stop Blaming others & take Responsibility for ourselves. We must Seek God & ask him to grant us the serenity to Accept the things we cannot change, the Courage to change the things that we can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Remember this, “Procrastination is the Assassination of Our Destination”. “The situation will not change until You Change It!

Moment of Transparency:

I have had people in my life who I considered Friends/Family who revealed themselves to be “other”, not because of what they have said but because of what they did “NOT” say! As for me, I would much rather have 1 person in my life who is concerned about “My Life” rather than 20 people who are more concerned about “My Feelings”! I want people in my “inner circle” that will push me to Do Better, Be Better & Live Better. People that are not afraid to tell me the Honest Truth (even when I don’t want to hear it)…..because the reality is, We All get off track. So, If you love someone (friend, family or other)……Please don’t support them in their wrong or sit on the sideline watching them “Self Destruct”. Love them enough to speak the Truth into their life, Love them enough to Get Involved even at the risk of your relationship.

Proverbs 27:6 ~ “Faithful are the wounds of a friend ; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

One of my greatest fears is growing old Alone!!l

I am a relationship person. I love the idea of Love, I love being in Love and the hopeless romantic in me would love to be in relationship & one day get married again but the way my life is set up, I’m not going to accept the BS just to say, “I’m in a relationship or I’m married”. The reality is, a lot of us women are accepting men who have not “Chosen” us. We know in our heart that he is not the one, we know he is just leading us on, we know that we’re just an occasionally rendezvous, but we settle for the scraps because we don’t think we deserve or will be blessed with anyone better. In our hearts we truly love them & in some cases they love us, just not enough to commit. They feed us just enough to keep us holding on to the hope that one day we will win the prize, but what prize are we winning??

Trust me, I know how difficult it is to be in unhealthy relationship, to love someone with all your heart but deep down you know your settling. I was married for 31 years, then after my divorce I was in a on-off relationship for almost 4 years. See, one of my greatest attributes & greatest flaw is LOVE & LOYALTY!! When I Love, I Love without limits. I will ride with you & for you until the wheels fall off. I will give a person 1001 chances because I Love hard & I’m Loyal to those I love, which is often a setup for heart break! So I know what it means to Love someone, that you know is not loving you the same.

But then comes that ah-ha moment. That moment when the light bulb comes on & you realize the reality of your situation. Ladies, Queens, My Sisters….we must understand that We Are The Prize, We Are The Good Thing, We Bring The Favor & We Are Wives!! Proverbs 18:22, states, “He who finds a Wife finds a Good Thing, And obtains Favor from the Lord.” We must stop preforming “wifely” acts & doing “wifely” duties with no “Wifely Benefits”! On my “Road To Freedom”, I realized that I had to take responsibility for My Life. For who I allow into my life & what I allow to occur in my life. If I want God to bless me with a husband, I have to start “being” a wife in my mind & in my heart. I had to separate & sanctity myself so I could start preparing my Mind, Heart, Body & Finances to receive the man that’s going to find me and I had to painfully release myself from anyone that was blocking the way.

Listen Ladies, if we keep giving pieces of ourselves to the Men that we “think” are the one, eventually we won’t have anything left for the MAN who “is” the one. We must stop “being” Long-term Girlfriends, Forever Fiancees, Permanente Companion & Friends / Roommates With Benefits. Some people say a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper but that piece of paper carries a lot of weight.

I’ve said this before & I’m saying it again. God allows people in our lives for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME! Our problem is, we get the reason & seasonal people confused with the Lifetime People so we must Pray & ask God to give us Discernment and Self Discipline and while we’re waiting be sure to Guard Our Heart, Cover Our Mind & Protect Our Body!!!

It’s easy to get caught up & fall into the trap of societies standards of Acceptance!

I was one who always based the acceptance of myself on the approval & acceptance of others. I found myself always adjusting to the opinions of others. Praise God, now I know better! Life is a great teacher & over the last few years it has taught me that my acceptance of myself is not predicated upon the opinions of others.

There comes a time in life when we have made a conscience effort to undo & unlearn so many behaviors and beliefs from our past. We must take the time to learn about ourselves and stop taking ourselves for granted. Listen, No, we’re not perfect, We all have flaws and issues that we struggle with internal & external…some we can change, some we can’t change & some we Shouldn’t want to change because they make us uniquely us but in all of that, Know This…..You are Fearfully & Wonderfully made by God to be who you are. Right where your are, Flaws & All. You don’t need family, friend, foe or companion to affirm that. You start affirming yourself. You tell yourself, I am Enough, Enough for what? I’m glad you asked, You are enough for whatever God has made you to be. You are enough to fulfill your destiny. You are enough to be genuinely loved & in love. You are enough to be the YOU, the you that doesn’t have to be a poor imitation of someone else. You are Enough to be Authentically You, learning Everyday to Love & Accept Yourself because YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away”. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NIV)

Love is a choice so don’t be so quick to fall in love because the reality is, there are people who really “Do Not Know” how to Give or Receive Genuine LOVE. They have this concept that loving someone is about giving/receiving Things, Happy Feelings & Sex. The sadness of it, is that they are so stuck in their ways, that they are not willing to allow anyone, Not Even God to truly Love them or Show them how to Love. So they end up living a life “chasing”….chasing after a “FEELING” & Never Grasping the True “ESSENCE” of Love, while leaving a trail of broken hearts, broken lives & shattered dreams behind them.

So when it comes to matters of the heart (Love)……Slow Down, Take Your Time, Guard your heart, Protect your body & Watch Their Actions & understand this…What’s Meant To Be, Will Be and What Is Not, Never Will!