God places people in our life exactly when we need them & often times they are saying what we don’t want to hear…The Truth!!! And my truth is, I have not truly embraced this freedom that I have been given. Although I would like to believe that I had, I really have not. I realized this past weekend that I am Truly, Truly Blessed to be who I am & where I am in my life. God has granted me the opportunity & freedom to do whatever I want (within his will), however I subconsciously attach myself to situations to give myself an excuse not walk in this freedom. Why….Is it Fear? If so, then fear of what? The fear of not being needed. The fear of being single-alone. The fear of being responsible for Me? Wow…The fear of REALITY, all of the above, which I did not realize until my return from Chicago. I made a conscience decision to go alone, shut off my cell phone & enjoy myself!! Although I had a GREAT time, upon my return home I was filled with sadness because everything was OK. There was no crisis, my children were well, my grandchildren were well, my Mom was well, My sisters, nieces & nephews are all fine. So I was saddened by the reality that no one needed me. The harsh reality is, I single, alone (without a companion) and although AJ & Mariah, are my children, they are grown and in spite of the what has accrued over the past 3 years, they are doing very well emotionally, mentally, spiritually & financially. Yes, my grand-daughters are my heart-beats and I love them dearly, they are Not Mine and they have Great parents who take excellent care of them! My Mom & family survived for almost 30 years without me, so God in his infinite wisdom has placed me in position where I have no one to directly focus on or take care of except ME, however he did not give me instructions on how to do that. I have been a nurturer and taking care of my family for over 30 years. For the past 3 years I have been the primary parent guiding my children’s  transition to our new family structure & their relocation to Florida. After the birth of my grand-daughters, I allowed myself to become consumed & content with being their primary grandparent. Making sure  they had everything they needed, that I let time & opportunity slip away from me. So as I laid awake at 3:00am EST this morning, praying & pondering this dilemma in my heart & mind, trying to wrap my mind around the concept of “My Time”, putting me first? God began to speak. I needed to understand that just because I put myself first does not mean that I have to neglect anything or anyone, however I must seek God for Wisdom & Direction so that I can re-evaluate & re-position the people in my life & determine who to promote, who to demote & who to fire. It means that I have to release myself & others to take responsibility for the things within their ability to handle and let them handle them. It means that I must be a good steward of my Time, Talent & Treasure, so that I can do the things that I need & want to do for ME. I must restart, reset & refocus on the things that God has already placed in my hands to do and get them completed. I must embrace ME, Love ME, Take Care of ME & Invest in ME.

I always say every journey starts with 1 step so here we go……The Me Project – Part 3!