As I was cleaning out some old emails I came upon a email from Nov 2013, where someone said to me “The same people you couldn’t stand, deal with and talked about is now the people you befriended?”, to which I would say….TRUE!

Not that I have to, but let me explain. It has been a long, difficult and painful journey from ‘there’ to here. When this all began, God promised me that if Trust and Obey him…Healing & Restoration would come and one of the first set instructions I received from God (after leaving Omaha, Ne) was to cleanse my heart and the only way to do that was to Forgive and ask for Forgiveness. I can honestly say throughout this entire process this was the most difficult part, Forgiving the people that I felt destroyed my life (to include the person who write the email) and the Humility of asking forgiveness from the people that I had hurt (knowingly and unknowingly). Yes, I did challenge God. I could not understand how I was suppose to do this while still in a broken state myself. My life was still in shambles. I was publicly humiliated, called a liar and falsely accused. My heart was broken into a million pieces. My life was gossip and topic of conversation at the local hair salons, barber shops and other gathering places and God wanted me to Forgive and further humiliate myself by Asking Forgiveness? But God’s instructions never changed. So the process began, some people accepted my “olive branch” and some didn’t and I’m OK with that. I had to learn to forgive without getting a apology. Some people called me crazy, a sell out, a suck up and in the email I was called “a manipulator” but I call it Obedience!!!

Because of that obedience, I am now at a better place in my life and moving forward. Not only physically (Florida) but relational & spiritually. I now know that in order for God to Heal & Restore Me, I had to get rid of the clogs that were stopping & blocking the process. The clogs that were within me that I was using to remain a victim of my circumstance. The clogs of Blaming Others, Bitterness, Unforgiveness and Hatred. I can say that with God’s help, I have forgiven & released everything in to his hands. Some people/things were more difficult to release than others & Believe me, I still have a LONG way to go but I am now on a continual path of Healing, Restoration & Reconciliation. I have Peace & am attempting to live at Peace with everyone, Past & Present. As I have said before…”People don’t have to be our Friends but they don’t have to our Enemies Either”.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” ~ Romans 12:18 (NIV)

The door has been opened. It has been YEARS since I’ve “freely” spoken or taught before God’s people. In my younger years as Pastor’s/Minister’s wife I did a lot of speaking & teaching however as time moved forward, the church got bigger, his ministry increased & mine decreased & I was ok with that. I loved being in the background, he was the Pastor, Teacher, Preacher, Evangelist, Singer and I loved supporting & watching him minister but I always knew in my heart that God had more for me to do. I had become comfortable & complacent in my role behind the scenes as a Wife, Mother, First Lady, Employee, however while enjoying my life…I had lost focus on my purpose. (more about that in my book). Now it’s my time to take center stage in my own life, I’m the leading character in this stage play of life & God is the director, preparing a platform from which I am to tell my story about His love, healing & restoration power. The story of how God’s will allowed me to stripped & broken so that he can build my life on a new “solid” foundation in him. A story of hope so that others will See & Know that God is real. The story of a Life Altering test that has produced a Life Building Testimony. I know…many have gone through similar situations, but no one has gone through Mine & no one can tell “My Story” but Me!

So as I stated above…The Door has been opened. When I walked into the room in Griffin, Ga, I was nervous but I knew without a doubt this was a God ordained the moment. As I began to speak the nervousness was replaced by a familiar warmness that started on my hands, moved up my arms then to my face, it was God’s Anointing, something I had not felt in years & although I had Prayed, Prepared & Practiced, it was at that moment I Knew, I was walking in my Purpose. See, God told me a long time ago, his will for my life, even though I choose not to follow that path, his will never changed. We can either take the easy way or the hard way but God’s Will Shall Be Done!
As for me…It’s not my will but Thine Will Be Done. God has equipped & empowered me to be a encouragement and speak life into the lives of his people & that’s how I try to live my life. Now don’t get me wrong….it’s a struggle because there are so many things that “I” want to do (not necessarily in this order) like,
1: Finish My Book.
2: Launch My Ministry
3: Go Back to School
4: Focus on becoming Financially Stable & Self Sufficient.
5: Maintain a healthy relationship with my children.
6: Be a present & consistent factor in the lives of my grand-daughters.
7: Stay on my path of healthy eating & my Fitness regiment.
8: Enjoy some recreational time. (Traveling & Stepping)
9: Start dating so that I can have that special someone in my life that I can grow with.
And if it be God’s will, l shall have and accomplish them all but I must seek ye first the kingdom of God (his will) and his righteousness (his way); and all these things shall be added unto you (my desires) ~ Matt 6:33.